Before you worry you should find out if there is even a reason to worry. Make an appointment for a free pregnancy test and to get advice and information about her options and yours.


So she’s pregnant, now what?

Here are some simple suggestions about what to do in this situation:

 

DO:

  • Listen: This situation doesn’t just involve you. She needs to know that you are there for her.
  • Stay Calm: Right now she desperately needs you to be her hero and support her. She may be pregnant, but you are BOTH parents. Regardless of your relationship in the future, the baby needs you to be there NOW.
  • Talk About It: Not only with each other but also with parents and others close to the situation. Hiding the news from those who can truly help you only increases your stress.
  • Gather All the Facts: Get all the information and seek wise counsel so you are prepared to make the best decision for all three of you.
  • Be Honest About Feelings: It is okay to feel angry, frustrated, and afraid. Just make sure that she knows you are there for her, and will continue to be there for her and your baby.

DON'T

  • Don’t Bail: It is hard to think clearly and make smart choices when you are running.
  • Don’t Pressure: Applying pressure will push her away, possibly into a regretful situation. Remember you are in this together and a teammate doesn’t need pressure, just support.
  • Don’t Shut Down: She needs you to communicate and be present. The two of you are in this together and she and your child need you to be available to them.
  • Don’t Rush: Making a decision before you have time to find out what your options are may leave you with lifelong regrets.
  • Don’t Forget: You have an active role in this situation. Listen to her and share your thoughts too. She and your baby are counting on you.
 

You Should Know:

  • Until the child is born, the woman legally has the final say in what happens.
  • Legally, you are the father and now is NOT the time to be silent. Discuss the future with her.
  • You are legally required to be financially responsible for the child, regardless of how active you are in the decision-making process. It’s important that you understand your rights and responsibilities for each option: parenting, adoption, or abortion.
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